the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
