Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
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