so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
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