Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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