you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
