Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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