she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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