Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
now i know why i became what i already was.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
