Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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