O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
My butt remains clenched, sir.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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