So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
