Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
