come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
