Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
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If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
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Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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