You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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