You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
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czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
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This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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