Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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