i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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