So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
