I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
so let's talk penis.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
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