one two three fourrrrnication!
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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