first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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