Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
