i don't plan on having that self control this summer
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
