Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Randomize
