i just google imaged poop.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
