I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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