I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
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