You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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