did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
You need a sexual gate keeper
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Randomize
