Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
