Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
