Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
He did a backflip because drugs
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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