its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
