Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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