fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
