sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
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I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
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