hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
