If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
