my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize