it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
