whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I wear drunk well.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
