you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
