32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
