oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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