she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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