Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
