grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
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