These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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