does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I have feelings that need drinking.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
