so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Randomize
