Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
