i would punch a child for taco bell
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
