Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Randomize
