We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
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