Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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