Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
another moral hangover. fuck.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
