I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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