Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
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