he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
