Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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