I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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