I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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