i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
